Posts
Anything someone, something, or some society or culture says or does "to" you, has nothing to do with you. It is their stuff, not yours. Even if someone says something cruel to you, again, it truly has nothing to do with you. It just speaks to the particular way they view the world. It is marred by the interpretations they have made about how life goes for them. It does not define your worth or value. So quit taking it so personally!
If you're blaming anyone for anything, you're giving up your power to be responsible for your life. You're giving up your rightful place as the creator of your life experience to be a player in someone else’s game and play victim to their rule.
Reclaim your life and your power. You are by nature a strong, courageous being with the capacity to empower nations and instigate world change. Start living your life as the miraculous leader you truly are.
Nightly, reflect on each time you reacted negatively in the day. For each instance, think of something empowering you could have done instead. Then the following day, practice implementing your new created responses.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The Moment of Truth
You know those moments when the world seems to stop and wait for your reaction? You get knocked off your feet on the street, someone spills red wine all down the back of your beautiful white jacket, someone cuts you off on the highway, someone knocks into your table and your food ends up in your lap, you get into a fight with your significant other because the inconsiderate (fill in the blank) did (fill in the blank) (didn’t help with the dishes, left the seat up, took an hour to get ready, teased you about your new haircut, got home late) again…?
When you take a moment to reflect on all the time you spend getting upset or frustrated or irate with people and life it’s incredible, and disturbing, to recognize how much time and energy of your life is spent reacting to what life seems to throw at you.
Life is too short and far too precious to be spent in a whirlwind of irritation, anger and fear.
The trick to changing your reaction from disaster to ease? Awareness.
First, notice if you’re taking it personally. You don’t truly know what’s going on for the other person (or what the situation is) and whatever happened was not a personal vendetta or attack against you. The world is not against you.
Next, consider, how much does this incident really mean in the grand scheme of things? That moment is officially the past and you can’t do anything to change that it happened – so how do you want your present to be?
Then choose.
Those reactions are costing you your life. Do you want your days to be exhausted and trying or fulfilling and joyful? You get to say.
When you take a moment to reflect on all the time you spend getting upset or frustrated or irate with people and life it’s incredible, and disturbing, to recognize how much time and energy of your life is spent reacting to what life seems to throw at you.
Life is too short and far too precious to be spent in a whirlwind of irritation, anger and fear.
The trick to changing your reaction from disaster to ease? Awareness.
First, notice if you’re taking it personally. You don’t truly know what’s going on for the other person (or what the situation is) and whatever happened was not a personal vendetta or attack against you. The world is not against you.
Next, consider, how much does this incident really mean in the grand scheme of things? That moment is officially the past and you can’t do anything to change that it happened – so how do you want your present to be?
Then choose.
Those reactions are costing you your life. Do you want your days to be exhausted and trying or fulfilling and joyful? You get to say.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Your Dream Life
Do you ever daydream about what your life would look like if it were perfect?
For that brief moment, you have this glorious glimpse into another world, one where anything is possible; where dreams and reality are one in the same and life is an experience of love, joy and satisfaction.
Then something happens to bring you back to the present moment and it’s as if all of the sudden someone slammed the door shut on that vision and sent you running back under the covers of your bed where it was safe and comfortable.
Let me tell you something, life is not happening under the covers! What feels safe, comfortable and familiar will not get you the life of your dreams!
So rather than relinquishing all control and declaring your life to be bound by your circumstances, consider for a moment - what are you really afraid of that’s preventing you from having this life?
Make a list of all areas where you’re holding back, avoiding, or stopping in life. For each area, ask yourself, am I coming from love or am I coming from fear? If fear, distinguish exactly what the fear is about. What are you sacrificing to maintain that? What actions can you create from a place of love that have you live your dream life now? Take those actions on regularly.
The future is just a thought - life happens now. Start living it by design.
For that brief moment, you have this glorious glimpse into another world, one where anything is possible; where dreams and reality are one in the same and life is an experience of love, joy and satisfaction.
Then something happens to bring you back to the present moment and it’s as if all of the sudden someone slammed the door shut on that vision and sent you running back under the covers of your bed where it was safe and comfortable.
Let me tell you something, life is not happening under the covers! What feels safe, comfortable and familiar will not get you the life of your dreams!
So rather than relinquishing all control and declaring your life to be bound by your circumstances, consider for a moment - what are you really afraid of that’s preventing you from having this life?
Make a list of all areas where you’re holding back, avoiding, or stopping in life. For each area, ask yourself, am I coming from love or am I coming from fear? If fear, distinguish exactly what the fear is about. What are you sacrificing to maintain that? What actions can you create from a place of love that have you live your dream life now? Take those actions on regularly.
The future is just a thought - life happens now. Start living it by design.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Choice
Only you can manifest the things you want in life because it is action that creates results. You are the only one who can take that action. Yet that’s not enough. Underneath all that action, the doing, is the foundation of who you are being. This is where magical things can happen. Shifting the way you approach people, situations, the world, is the real key to fulfillment. Getting clear on where you’re coming from, the lens through which you see the world, and how you get in your own way gives you access to choosing something else. In distinguishing this paradigm, you receive the gift of opportunity to create choices and actions from an empowered place in line with the vision you hold for your life.
Believe it or not you really do have a choice – you can either continue operating from the disempowering pattern that’s not getting you what you want, or you can choose something new, something outside your comfort zone that resides in the realm of possibility, something that liberates you from limitation and moves you forward. You have the incredible ability to create your life rather than react to it.
What’s possible for you is simply what you say is possible. So what will you create and who will you BE in creating it?
You can make a choice that empowers you, make a choice that disempowers you, or make no choice, which is always a choice, and an automatically disempowering one at that.
What will you choose this week?
Saturday, December 27, 2008
New Year
Everyone is always making promises for themselves around this time of year. “This time I’m going to stick to the plan – lose 10 pounds, get a raise/new job, find new love.” Why is it that these wonderful goals only seem to stick for a couple months? People get so motivated and excited about what they’re going to create in their lives and then all of the sudden that enthusiasm wanes. The mountain seems too tall to climb, the weather too chilly, the obstacles insurmountable. A shift takes place. It’s as if you took a trip to the Disney World, the happiest place on earth, and the trip came to an end and you went back to “real life”.
Why not live in Disney World?
Whatever that experience is for you – Disney World, the beach, hiking in the fall, skiing in the winter, Sundays… think about how it makes you feel. Think about the way you’re being; where you're coming from and how you see the world from that place. Really get a clear picture of what life is like for you from there.
Now take that experience and practice re-creating it every day, in every moment. In whatever it is you’re doing now, create that way of being.
Who says that the “real world” can’t be enjoyable, fun, easy, delightful, rewarding, fulfilling…?
It’s up to you to create the life you truly want. You experience life in whatever way you choose to and only you have control over how that goes. Only you have the power to allow things to reamain as they are or to decide to create something new.
Enroll someone in supporting you to stick to those goals. Hire a coach, enlist a friend, check in with a family member, hire a trainer... whoever or whatever it is, power exists in partnership and support. The biggest mistake a person can make is to believe they are alone in the world. There are people who love you, want you to win, and will support you in doing so. Most people have it mixed up – there is not weakness in asking for support, there is power in vulnerability.
Why not live in Disney World?
Whatever that experience is for you – Disney World, the beach, hiking in the fall, skiing in the winter, Sundays… think about how it makes you feel. Think about the way you’re being; where you're coming from and how you see the world from that place. Really get a clear picture of what life is like for you from there.
Now take that experience and practice re-creating it every day, in every moment. In whatever it is you’re doing now, create that way of being.
Who says that the “real world” can’t be enjoyable, fun, easy, delightful, rewarding, fulfilling…?
It’s up to you to create the life you truly want. You experience life in whatever way you choose to and only you have control over how that goes. Only you have the power to allow things to reamain as they are or to decide to create something new.
Enroll someone in supporting you to stick to those goals. Hire a coach, enlist a friend, check in with a family member, hire a trainer... whoever or whatever it is, power exists in partnership and support. The biggest mistake a person can make is to believe they are alone in the world. There are people who love you, want you to win, and will support you in doing so. Most people have it mixed up – there is not weakness in asking for support, there is power in vulnerability.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Committing to You
In a healthy set of priorities, you come first. You know why? Because all the other areas of your life are going to be affected by your well being. Your spouse, work, family & friends will all feel the trickle down effect of whatever it is you’re experiencing.
Based on that, it’s important to recognize what your commitments mean for you. Are they empowering? Are they in line with your values? Are they commitments to yourself?
What is it that you dream about so fervently yet are terrified to even utter the desire? Maybe you think it’s so out there, so far from where you are now that it blows your mind to even consider the possibility of it actually existing in your life. Only someone extraordinary could do that. That could never happen for you.
Guess what? You ARE extraordinary. You are the creator of your life; the masterful artist who paints the beautiful and unique experience that is your future.
When we take on or continue things that aren’t in line with what we really want, we end up in conflict. We remain in a situation, whether it be a job, a relationship, or something else, even though we’re not fully aligned with whatever it is. Our hearts aren’t in it or we don’t enjoy it or we just aren’t ready for that particular thing. But we stay there – why? I’m not talking about when you’re pursuing your dream and hitting roadblocks. I’m talking about when you’re just not fully behind it; when you really want out but don’t see the path to get there, the light that leads out.
When this is the case, there’s disconnect between what you really want and what you’re allowing in your life. So consider, what would look like to be truly unequivocally committed to yourself? To your needs, your desires, your happiness, your heart. What would have to change for you to align your present with your future vision? What actions must you take to create the future you want? What’s predictable if you don’t align?
So commit to yourself. It’s not selfish to envision your future and choose that light. Everyone and everything else in your life will get to bask in its glow once you create it.
Based on that, it’s important to recognize what your commitments mean for you. Are they empowering? Are they in line with your values? Are they commitments to yourself?
What is it that you dream about so fervently yet are terrified to even utter the desire? Maybe you think it’s so out there, so far from where you are now that it blows your mind to even consider the possibility of it actually existing in your life. Only someone extraordinary could do that. That could never happen for you.
Guess what? You ARE extraordinary. You are the creator of your life; the masterful artist who paints the beautiful and unique experience that is your future.
When we take on or continue things that aren’t in line with what we really want, we end up in conflict. We remain in a situation, whether it be a job, a relationship, or something else, even though we’re not fully aligned with whatever it is. Our hearts aren’t in it or we don’t enjoy it or we just aren’t ready for that particular thing. But we stay there – why? I’m not talking about when you’re pursuing your dream and hitting roadblocks. I’m talking about when you’re just not fully behind it; when you really want out but don’t see the path to get there, the light that leads out.
When this is the case, there’s disconnect between what you really want and what you’re allowing in your life. So consider, what would look like to be truly unequivocally committed to yourself? To your needs, your desires, your happiness, your heart. What would have to change for you to align your present with your future vision? What actions must you take to create the future you want? What’s predictable if you don’t align?
So commit to yourself. It’s not selfish to envision your future and choose that light. Everyone and everything else in your life will get to bask in its glow once you create it.
Friday, October 31, 2008
The Right Way
People are always trying to do things the right way. We want to fit that mold of perfection that gets the answer right, discovers the secret, finds the one skeleton key that fits every lock.
Life isn't so cut and dry.
Consider that there is no right way. Or conversely, that every way is the right way.
A way that works is A way that works, not the ONLY way that works. There are no limits to how many options exist. Possibility is endless. By trial and error, we learn what does work for us and what doesn't. We learn what we like to do and what we don't. It's unreasonable to expect our path to be identical to another's. You are a unique and extraordinary individual. Discover your own path. Find your own way. Make your own choices.
When something doesn't work, try something else. Failure doesn't exist. It's just a concept. With every choice we make or path we take we learn; and that new knowledge is vital to helping us create our own personal successes. There is no failure in learning. Whether the choice works for us or shows us what doesn't work, we get a little closer to discovering the success that will exist for us as we move forward on our path towards achieving what we desire.
You can do it any way you want to. So stop obsessing over how to do it and just do it!
Life isn't so cut and dry.
Consider that there is no right way. Or conversely, that every way is the right way.
A way that works is A way that works, not the ONLY way that works. There are no limits to how many options exist. Possibility is endless. By trial and error, we learn what does work for us and what doesn't. We learn what we like to do and what we don't. It's unreasonable to expect our path to be identical to another's. You are a unique and extraordinary individual. Discover your own path. Find your own way. Make your own choices.
When something doesn't work, try something else. Failure doesn't exist. It's just a concept. With every choice we make or path we take we learn; and that new knowledge is vital to helping us create our own personal successes. There is no failure in learning. Whether the choice works for us or shows us what doesn't work, we get a little closer to discovering the success that will exist for us as we move forward on our path towards achieving what we desire.
You can do it any way you want to. So stop obsessing over how to do it and just do it!
Friday, October 24, 2008
The Dream
Consider this question, what’s the dream?
In your heart of hearts, what is it you really truly want in life?
The things that you will be most passionate about and motivated to achieve are going to be those that you truly desire and dream about. Inspiration only comes from things that inspire us. So make a choice. Decide to continue following the same patterns as you always have and settle for what exists, what’s easy, known and predictable OR take a stand for your life. Choose to be inspired, to create your dreams and accomplish your goals. Choose to live the life you want NOW. Why remain bound to the circumstances that happen to exist instead of creating the ones you desire? Only you have the power to declare what your future will look like and to fulfill into that declaration. No one can or will do it for you. It’s time to take responsibility for your life and the choices you make in it. Life is full of possibilities, open your heart to them and choose.
In your heart of hearts, what is it you really truly want in life?
The things that you will be most passionate about and motivated to achieve are going to be those that you truly desire and dream about. Inspiration only comes from things that inspire us. So make a choice. Decide to continue following the same patterns as you always have and settle for what exists, what’s easy, known and predictable OR take a stand for your life. Choose to be inspired, to create your dreams and accomplish your goals. Choose to live the life you want NOW. Why remain bound to the circumstances that happen to exist instead of creating the ones you desire? Only you have the power to declare what your future will look like and to fulfill into that declaration. No one can or will do it for you. It’s time to take responsibility for your life and the choices you make in it. Life is full of possibilities, open your heart to them and choose.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Welcome!
Welcome to the JNB Coaching blog!
I'm Jaclyn Beckerman, owner of JNB Coaching. I'm a professional life coach and I truly love what I do. I'm passionate about working with my clients to create the things they want in their life. To live a fulfilled life that realizes their dreams and makes them happy. I work with them to fill the gap between where they are now and where they want to be. I want my clients to win and I fully support them in every way to be in action and accomplish their goals.
Through coaching, I work with my clients to dig deeper and really intuit about how they're being, how they're approaching life, people, and situations. We work to find out what's blocking them or getting in the way of fulfilling their dreams and to recognize the patterns they've lived by or meaning they've created or attached to things that limit their perspective. Once we bring these insights out into the open, we can examine them and see if they're serving you, and if not, explore different approaches and options that might serve you better. We broaden your perspective to look outside the limiting beliefs you've held as a casualty of living life within your comfort zone, or within what you already know. As your coach I encourage you to break outside that box, take off the glasses and see beyond the lens, to recognize a world that is full of opportunities, possibilities, and wide open doors just waiting to be walked through.
So take the next step in creating your future. Check out my website at www.jnbcoaching.com and contact me at jaclyn@jnbcoaching.com or 646-719-1896 to set up a complimentary coaching session to experience the power of coaching. I look forward to working with you to create your dream life!
I'm Jaclyn Beckerman, owner of JNB Coaching. I'm a professional life coach and I truly love what I do. I'm passionate about working with my clients to create the things they want in their life. To live a fulfilled life that realizes their dreams and makes them happy. I work with them to fill the gap between where they are now and where they want to be. I want my clients to win and I fully support them in every way to be in action and accomplish their goals.
Through coaching, I work with my clients to dig deeper and really intuit about how they're being, how they're approaching life, people, and situations. We work to find out what's blocking them or getting in the way of fulfilling their dreams and to recognize the patterns they've lived by or meaning they've created or attached to things that limit their perspective. Once we bring these insights out into the open, we can examine them and see if they're serving you, and if not, explore different approaches and options that might serve you better. We broaden your perspective to look outside the limiting beliefs you've held as a casualty of living life within your comfort zone, or within what you already know. As your coach I encourage you to break outside that box, take off the glasses and see beyond the lens, to recognize a world that is full of opportunities, possibilities, and wide open doors just waiting to be walked through.
So take the next step in creating your future. Check out my website at www.jnbcoaching.com and contact me at jaclyn@jnbcoaching.com or 646-719-1896 to set up a complimentary coaching session to experience the power of coaching. I look forward to working with you to create your dream life!
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