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I often come across people who seem to associate coaching with therapy, or who aren’t really clear on the difference between the two. So I thought it might be of value to share the International Coaching Federation’s explanation of the differences between coaching and therapy. Enjoy!
Coaching can be distinguished from therapy in a number of ways. First, coaching is a profession that supports personal and professional growth and development based on individual-initiated change in pursuit of specific actionable outcomes. These outcomes are linked to personal or professional success. Coaching is forward moving and future focused.
Therapy, on the other hand, deals with healing pain, dysfunction and conflict within an individual or a relationship between two or more individuals. The focus is often on resolving difficulties arising from the past which hamper an individual's emotional functioning in the present, improving overall psychological functioning, and dealing with present life and work circumstances in more emotionally healthy ways.
Therapy outcomes often include improved emotional/feeling states. While positive feelings/emotions may be a natural outcome of coaching, the primary focus is on creating actionable strategies for achieving specific goals in one's work or personal life.
The emphasis in a coaching relationship is on action, accountability and follow through.
Source: Branding and Marketing Subcommittee (Jan Austin, MCC, Val Williams, MCC, Nora Klaver, MCC and Ariane Cherbuliez, PCC) www.coachfederation.org
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Perspective
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change". -Wayne Dyer
What are you settling for in life?
What are you getting out of that?
Often people hold the view that what’s going on in their life, or in other words their circumstances, dictate how life goes for them. I’d like to pose another way to look at it. Your perspective about your situation actually creates your experience of life.
Everyone has a different perspective, each one valid and valuable. Consider how life would be different if you truly allowed new perspectives to inform your experience of life, giving you the gift of seeing something new for yourself.
You may not be able to immediately change your circumstances, yet you CAN change how you relate to them, and in turn they tend to change. Every “problem”, every breakdown, has a huge opportunity for growth nestled within it.
I challenge you to look at things in your life from a different perspective this week. Put yourself in other people’s shoes and consider how they might view the same situation. What new possibilities do you see?
What are you settling for in life?
What are you getting out of that?
Often people hold the view that what’s going on in their life, or in other words their circumstances, dictate how life goes for them. I’d like to pose another way to look at it. Your perspective about your situation actually creates your experience of life.
Everyone has a different perspective, each one valid and valuable. Consider how life would be different if you truly allowed new perspectives to inform your experience of life, giving you the gift of seeing something new for yourself.
You may not be able to immediately change your circumstances, yet you CAN change how you relate to them, and in turn they tend to change. Every “problem”, every breakdown, has a huge opportunity for growth nestled within it.
I challenge you to look at things in your life from a different perspective this week. Put yourself in other people’s shoes and consider how they might view the same situation. What new possibilities do you see?
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Presence
Truly being in the moment can be difficult for most. It requires us to let go of the story we hold on to about the past as well as our obsession with predicting or planning the future, to just
BE where we are now.
However, I’d pose to you that being in the moment is actually the most empowering place to live. Most of the time, when you’re in a bad mood or some difficult circumstances have arisen, it’s not the moment itself that weighs on you, rather it’s the thoughts about what happened to create the bad mood, or what the circumstances mean to your future and how it’s going to be, that have you concerned.
The present moment allows for flexibility and gives you the opportunity to empower a change or shift.
Consider that the past and future don’t exist – they are only in your mind and there is only now. So how will you be right now?
BE where we are now.
However, I’d pose to you that being in the moment is actually the most empowering place to live. Most of the time, when you’re in a bad mood or some difficult circumstances have arisen, it’s not the moment itself that weighs on you, rather it’s the thoughts about what happened to create the bad mood, or what the circumstances mean to your future and how it’s going to be, that have you concerned.
The present moment allows for flexibility and gives you the opportunity to empower a change or shift.
Consider that the past and future don’t exist – they are only in your mind and there is only now. So how will you be right now?
Friday, June 5, 2009
Interdependence
Many people live by the mantra of wanting to be independent. According to Stephen Covey, the most powerful way to develop is to move from dependence, to independence, and finally to INTERdependence. You are not alone in this world of millions so why keep insisting that you have to do everything entirely by yourself?
People who are dependent rely on others to give them what they want. They put the focus outside of themselves to what others are doing or not doing. This way of operating in the world robs you of your ability to declare how life will go for you and actually take action on fulfilling into that declaration.
Independence on the other hand requires you to get really responsible for how your life goes and proactive in your actions, prioritizing and operating from your future vision of life. If you find yourself constantly playing the blame game, consider, what are you really getting out of that? Is the payoff worth the consequences?
Next, create interdependence by working with the people in your life in a way that instills trust and partnership. Really listen to what they have to say, contribute your own input, and work together to find new solutions that meet both your values.
Who made up the notion that self-reliance was better than strengthening connections to others by enlisting support? In a world of 6 billion people, who gave you the idea that you were meant to do it alone?
People who are dependent rely on others to give them what they want. They put the focus outside of themselves to what others are doing or not doing. This way of operating in the world robs you of your ability to declare how life will go for you and actually take action on fulfilling into that declaration.
Independence on the other hand requires you to get really responsible for how your life goes and proactive in your actions, prioritizing and operating from your future vision of life. If you find yourself constantly playing the blame game, consider, what are you really getting out of that? Is the payoff worth the consequences?
Next, create interdependence by working with the people in your life in a way that instills trust and partnership. Really listen to what they have to say, contribute your own input, and work together to find new solutions that meet both your values.
Who made up the notion that self-reliance was better than strengthening connections to others by enlisting support? In a world of 6 billion people, who gave you the idea that you were meant to do it alone?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Commitment
“Concerning all acts of initiative, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goeth
Some of you may have heard this goldmine of wisdom before. How many of you have truly taken it to heart?
One thing of which I have no shred of doubt in my mind is that when you really, truly and completely commit yourself to something it is inevitable that you will produce results you would have never imagined. This is not to say that the road may not be bumpy or have boulders that need to be removed along the way, but within a true commitment, we continue along the road until we reach our destination.
So what are you really afraid of that has you not commit to creating the things you say you really want in life? What do you value more: protecting yourself in some way or your dream life?
Some of you may have heard this goldmine of wisdom before. How many of you have truly taken it to heart?
One thing of which I have no shred of doubt in my mind is that when you really, truly and completely commit yourself to something it is inevitable that you will produce results you would have never imagined. This is not to say that the road may not be bumpy or have boulders that need to be removed along the way, but within a true commitment, we continue along the road until we reach our destination.
So what are you really afraid of that has you not commit to creating the things you say you really want in life? What do you value more: protecting yourself in some way or your dream life?
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Transforming Fear with Love
“Darkness is merely the absence of light, and fear is merely the absence of love. We can’t get rid of darkness by hitting it with a baseball hat, because there is nothing to hit. If we want to be rid of darkness, we must turn on a light. Similarly, if we want to be rid of fear, we cannot fight it but must replace it with love.” – Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
Our fears often feel like the truth. Like everything that could go wrong will or that we’ll never be able to make something we want happen. It’s just “our nature” or “our luck” or “how it is”. Not a very loving way to think, is it? In reality, fears are just stories that we made up about life at some point to protect us from getting hurt.
What would it look like if you actually had compassion for that part of you that is terrified or maybe even paralyzed from changing or moving into unknown territory? Are you willing to take that on?
If every single person truly looked at their lives and took on the task of noticing where they’re coming from in the moment, fear or love, and began to choose love more and more often, we would be able to end wars, end world hunger, end the economic crisis and heal our environment. People aren’t inherently bad, they’re afraid. Imagine what real love would do for them?
The next time you recognize that your fears are holding you back, turn on a light. Ask yourself, “what would love do now?”
Our fears often feel like the truth. Like everything that could go wrong will or that we’ll never be able to make something we want happen. It’s just “our nature” or “our luck” or “how it is”. Not a very loving way to think, is it? In reality, fears are just stories that we made up about life at some point to protect us from getting hurt.
What would it look like if you actually had compassion for that part of you that is terrified or maybe even paralyzed from changing or moving into unknown territory? Are you willing to take that on?
If every single person truly looked at their lives and took on the task of noticing where they’re coming from in the moment, fear or love, and began to choose love more and more often, we would be able to end wars, end world hunger, end the economic crisis and heal our environment. People aren’t inherently bad, they’re afraid. Imagine what real love would do for them?
The next time you recognize that your fears are holding you back, turn on a light. Ask yourself, “what would love do now?”
Friday, April 24, 2009
Love
Love is such an amazing phenomenon. You see it all the time, in a mother cheering on her child at an event, a couple enjoying one another’s company over a romantic dinner, or even just a kind gesture from a stranger like giving food to someone who’s hungry or showing concern when someone gets hurt.
Considering how warm and expansive it feels when you give love unconditionally, it’s almost unbelievable how stingy we are with it. Often you become so consumed by the fear of not having enough for yourself that you refrain from giving it to anyone, INCLUDING yourself and/or blaming one another for the faults in your relationship, always looking for the leverage to ‘be right’.
So OF COURSE you feel like you don’t have enough of it – you aren’t operating from love or giving it away. How can you possibly feel that you have something you constantly deny the universe?
True generosity, to others as well as to yourself, lies in giving love away as if you had a never-ending supply of it, because you do. Love is beyond abundant, it’s eternal.
Life can be transformed through things like compassion, understanding and kindness. So when you're feeling like you don't have enough love in your life, GIVE it to others and notice the wealth of it that runs through you. Touch your own heart by touching someone elses.
Considering how warm and expansive it feels when you give love unconditionally, it’s almost unbelievable how stingy we are with it. Often you become so consumed by the fear of not having enough for yourself that you refrain from giving it to anyone, INCLUDING yourself and/or blaming one another for the faults in your relationship, always looking for the leverage to ‘be right’.
So OF COURSE you feel like you don’t have enough of it – you aren’t operating from love or giving it away. How can you possibly feel that you have something you constantly deny the universe?
True generosity, to others as well as to yourself, lies in giving love away as if you had a never-ending supply of it, because you do. Love is beyond abundant, it’s eternal.
Life can be transformed through things like compassion, understanding and kindness. So when you're feeling like you don't have enough love in your life, GIVE it to others and notice the wealth of it that runs through you. Touch your own heart by touching someone elses.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is an act of kindness, not just to another person, but to yourself. Being courageous enough to release the anger that stems from whatever fears you are holding on to is no small task. It requires a generosity of heart and soul that people don’t always feel they have access to. Yet the love within you truly is unlimited and expansive. That love is who you really are; and our universal purpose is to share that with the world.
Even those you think of as cruel or evil, are actually operating out of whatever very strong fear they are attached to. Similarly, we each struggle with our own fears each and every day. If you look at the vast array of people in the world, plenty of which you may disagree with or disapprove of, you actually have the opportunity to recognize a oneness that exists within us all. Every single person on this planet is united in our desire for love and acceptance as we are.
Now imagine the incredible healing power of forgiveness when you consider that all anyone really wants, at the core of who they are, is to love and be loved. Whether or not you continue communicating with that person or considering that event that you were holding something against, to hold a grudge in your heart actually creates YOUR experience as one of pain and anger. It actually affects who YOU are being and what YOU are capable of from that standpoint.
Therefore, it would stand to reason that if you ask for forgiveness from those you feel you have harmed and allow forgiveness for those you feel have harmed you, including yourself, you are actually freeing up all that wonderful energy that was previously spent on resentment and frustration.
So in service of your best self, who you really are, take on forgiving at least one person this week. But start with forgiving yourself.
**If you’re having trouble getting to this place of forgiveness, get in touch with me and I’d be happy to provide you with some further assistance in getting complete with the situation first.
Even those you think of as cruel or evil, are actually operating out of whatever very strong fear they are attached to. Similarly, we each struggle with our own fears each and every day. If you look at the vast array of people in the world, plenty of which you may disagree with or disapprove of, you actually have the opportunity to recognize a oneness that exists within us all. Every single person on this planet is united in our desire for love and acceptance as we are.
Now imagine the incredible healing power of forgiveness when you consider that all anyone really wants, at the core of who they are, is to love and be loved. Whether or not you continue communicating with that person or considering that event that you were holding something against, to hold a grudge in your heart actually creates YOUR experience as one of pain and anger. It actually affects who YOU are being and what YOU are capable of from that standpoint.
Therefore, it would stand to reason that if you ask for forgiveness from those you feel you have harmed and allow forgiveness for those you feel have harmed you, including yourself, you are actually freeing up all that wonderful energy that was previously spent on resentment and frustration.
So in service of your best self, who you really are, take on forgiving at least one person this week. But start with forgiving yourself.
**If you’re having trouble getting to this place of forgiveness, get in touch with me and I’d be happy to provide you with some further assistance in getting complete with the situation first.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Never Too Late
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do.” ~Mark Twain
That’s one of my favorite quotes. It’s what I believe they really mean when they say ‘carpe diem’; seize the day. Every day, in every moment, you have the chance to do that thing you’ve always wanted to do, to create that life you’ve always wanted to live. It doesn’t matter what point you’re at in life or what you’ve endured along the way. You are a naturally creative and resourceful being with the power to alter your own personal universe just because you say so.
Age, gender, race, sexuality, religion – none of these are truly deciding factors as to whether or not you can do or achieve something, they are only used as excuses and protestations for why something isn’t possible for you. (Look at Barack Obama – how many people thought we would ever have a black president?) In reality, you can do absolutely anything. Even if it were just something you were curious about – like what it would be like to live in another country? Or if that person you loved so long ago is still available or still thinks about you? Or if after all the time you’ve spent in your field, if you could really change careers NOW and actually do what you’re passionate about?
Part of the wonder of life is that we GET to be curious and subsequently explore and discover! True, it may not turn out the way you hope it to when you play it out in your mind – but it least it will turn out. Regrets are completely arbitrary when you can truly say that you do and have lived life fully.
So plan that trip, re-unite with that person, start interviewing, take whatever chance it is that you’re avoiding – do whatever it is that you think you can’t. In telling you what you can and can’t do, no one’s voice will ever be as strong as your own.
That’s one of my favorite quotes. It’s what I believe they really mean when they say ‘carpe diem’; seize the day. Every day, in every moment, you have the chance to do that thing you’ve always wanted to do, to create that life you’ve always wanted to live. It doesn’t matter what point you’re at in life or what you’ve endured along the way. You are a naturally creative and resourceful being with the power to alter your own personal universe just because you say so.
Age, gender, race, sexuality, religion – none of these are truly deciding factors as to whether or not you can do or achieve something, they are only used as excuses and protestations for why something isn’t possible for you. (Look at Barack Obama – how many people thought we would ever have a black president?) In reality, you can do absolutely anything. Even if it were just something you were curious about – like what it would be like to live in another country? Or if that person you loved so long ago is still available or still thinks about you? Or if after all the time you’ve spent in your field, if you could really change careers NOW and actually do what you’re passionate about?
Part of the wonder of life is that we GET to be curious and subsequently explore and discover! True, it may not turn out the way you hope it to when you play it out in your mind – but it least it will turn out. Regrets are completely arbitrary when you can truly say that you do and have lived life fully.
So plan that trip, re-unite with that person, start interviewing, take whatever chance it is that you’re avoiding – do whatever it is that you think you can’t. In telling you what you can and can’t do, no one’s voice will ever be as strong as your own.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Change
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" -- Mohandas Gandhi
The universe is vast and your opportunities in it are unlimited.
So often I hear people talk about the change they want to see so fervently yet refuse to be the catalyst that embodies it.
If not you, who? If not now, when?
Change, as President Obama has so eloquently put, “will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”
This boldly speaks not just to our country or our world today, but also to your own unique life. The more you keep waiting for things to get better, to have more time, more money, more love – the more you are going to spend your life waiting. If you really get responsible for how your life is going right now, you actually regain the opportunity to have it go differently. You reclaim the power to create all those things you’re seeking.
Practice being “the one” everywhere, all the time.
The universe is vast and your opportunities in it are unlimited.
So often I hear people talk about the change they want to see so fervently yet refuse to be the catalyst that embodies it.
If not you, who? If not now, when?
Change, as President Obama has so eloquently put, “will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”
This boldly speaks not just to our country or our world today, but also to your own unique life. The more you keep waiting for things to get better, to have more time, more money, more love – the more you are going to spend your life waiting. If you really get responsible for how your life is going right now, you actually regain the opportunity to have it go differently. You reclaim the power to create all those things you’re seeking.
Practice being “the one” everywhere, all the time.
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