Thursday, April 2, 2009

Never Too Late

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do.” ~Mark Twain

That’s one of my favorite quotes. It’s what I believe they really mean when they say ‘carpe diem’; seize the day. Every day, in every moment, you have the chance to do that thing you’ve always wanted to do, to create that life you’ve always wanted to live. It doesn’t matter what point you’re at in life or what you’ve endured along the way. You are a naturally creative and resourceful being with the power to alter your own personal universe just because you say so.

Age, gender, race, sexuality, religion – none of these are truly deciding factors as to whether or not you can do or achieve something, they are only used as excuses and protestations for why something isn’t possible for you. (Look at Barack Obama – how many people thought we would ever have a black president?) In reality, you can do absolutely anything. Even if it were just something you were curious about – like what it would be like to live in another country? Or if that person you loved so long ago is still available or still thinks about you? Or if after all the time you’ve spent in your field, if you could really change careers NOW and actually do what you’re passionate about?

Part of the wonder of life is that we GET to be curious and subsequently explore and discover! True, it may not turn out the way you hope it to when you play it out in your mind – but it least it will turn out. Regrets are completely arbitrary when you can truly say that you do and have lived life fully.

So plan that trip, re-unite with that person, start interviewing, take whatever chance it is that you’re avoiding – do whatever it is that you think you can’t. In telling you what you can and can’t do, no one’s voice will ever be as strong as your own.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't have a problem with being curious, but do you really think it's a good idea to go chasing after a lost love, even though that person has given no indication they might still be interested?

Jaclyn Beckerman said...

There's a different connotation to chasing than what I'm pointing to which is really just exploring or being open to the possibilities and acting on them. If that person is still on your mind and your are still interested romantically it certainly can't hurt to try and connect with them and see where they're at in life. Find out if something is still there or not.

You may not get the response you hope for - they might be in a relationship, not interested, not want to talk to you, etc. But on the other hand they may have thought about you over the years too and be thrilled to hear from you. You will never know unless you take the initiative to find out.

So you're right, you are definitely taking a risk with reaching out to someone who hasn't indicated any interest. But you can only know how you feel, not them. So why not find out? (Unless of course they've asked you to not contact them again in which case you already know how they feel).

At minimum, if they're not interested, you can get that closure and move on - opening that space up for new love to enter. Because if you're still pining over them in some way (even just a little), all that energy is being used on them and is not available for the possibility of someone new.